


Battle Scars

by CrushingOnLarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bullying, M/M, high school!au, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:25:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushingOnLarry/pseuds/CrushingOnLarry
Summary: Harry Styles is the loser of Gretchen High School; has been for three years. He gets bullied constantly for things that he cannot control. Louis Tomlinson is the new kid who immediately becomes Mr. Popular. What happens when Louis notices Harry crying in the bathroom one day during lunch?





	1. i’m broken

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Harry will get severely bullied. He will be called names such as 'dyke' and be made fun of his appearance and be bullied for being like a girl according to his bullies. If this is offensive or triggers you, please do NOT read it. This is also my first fic I write with bullying so I'm not too good at it... sorry. I'm kinda just rolling with it.
> 
> Also this one will be very short because it's just the prologue. Hoping to update soon!

**Prologue**

It was the last day of school. Niall had already gone on vacation with his family so Harry knew it was going to be one of his tougher days. When Niall was around; he had immunity. The bullies left him alone… from up close anyways. They’d still point and make gestures, but at least they wouldn’t say or do anything to him. 

Harry had become so reliant on Niall, it wasn’t even funny. If ever Niall was sick or absent one day, the curly-haired boy would have a mini panic attack. High school was already hard enough… with the fucking hormones, the homework… trying to be social. God, being social alone killed Harry. He hated it. He still wasn’t even fully comfortable around Niall. He wasn’t comfortable around _anyone_ ; not even himself. He felt awkward in his own body. That’s what the bullies had done to him. They made him feel worthless… useless… unimportant. So when you add ‘getting bullied’ to the mix of high school; it makes it a million times worse. Harry dreaded Monday - Friday solely because of the people he saw there. 

It affected every single part of him. His grades began slipping when he first got bullied and he stopped smiling. He never smiled anymore. He didn't have a reason to. Harry Styles was always known as a cheerful, content lad before this happened. That all changed one day. 

Harry was simply happy that summer had finally come around once more. The bell rung, meaning the last period was finally over. Harry quickly gathered his materials and scurried off to his locker. He leaned in as close as possible and hunched his shoulders over; hoping to go by unnoticed. Unfortunately, he was not that lucky. 

“Hey, Girly Hairy,” Chad called out. He cupped his hands over his mouth to make an echoing affect and snickered. Harry made the mistake of turning around and immediately regretted it. Chad smirked and walked over, slamming the locker door into Harry’s tiny little body. “See you next year, dyke.”

And that’s how Harry Styles’s summer began. Bruised up and broken.


	2. it's such a long way down

**Chapter One**

One more year. That’s all Harry had left. One more year. One more awful year of bullies; of the torment; of the pain. Once June would hit, he would be free from this hell once and for all. He had never been excited for his sixteenth birthday until he realized that was when he could leave school. From that moment, he had the option of continuing his post-secondary studies at a college, doing community work for twenty hours, or remaining at school until he was 18. He wanted  _ any  _ option except for staying at that school. 

Harry hadn’t been himself ever since he first got bullied when he was twelve. It all began when he was changing for gym class one day. He didn’t think anything of it; but someone had noticed two pink marks on his bare chest. They pointed it out immediately and Harry was asked what it was. Everyone gathered around him to look at what the person had pointed out. They all seemed very confused.

The thirteen year-old explained that it was just something he had been born with. He didn’t think it was going to be an issue. His parents had always told him it was nothing to be ashamed of and it was just a natural part of his human body. Harry never questioned them; he just thought it was normal, like his parents had said. If only the people at school agreed with his parents… 

Instead, the students began calling it his ‘second pair of nipples’. From that moment on… things just got worse and worse. They began calling his nipples 'udders’ because he had four of them. They would make milking jokes. They would try to spot it through his shirt whenever he walked by them. 

The news got around pretty quick. Suddenly, Harry was known as the four-nipple kid. Not everyone bullied him, but people definitely stayed away after that. They didn’t like anything that seemed ‘weird’ and according to his bullies, Harry was the embodiment of weird. He was told this constantly. He was weird. He was strange. He didn’t fit in. Why was he there? He should be in a circus instead. 

After hearing that over and over… Harry started believing them. He was weird; he was worthless; he was everything they told him. It was all true. Why couldn’t he see it before? Of course they were right… there were multiple of them and only one of him. He was thirteen. He was young, impressionable… gullible. He didn’t think ‘hmm, maybe they’re wrong’. No, he just believed it wholeheartedly. And that’s where his self-consciousness grew and how he began to slowly hate himself. 

The next year, Harry had decided to grow his hair out to hide his face; to become less noticeable. Wasn’t that a mistake. If anything, it only attracted the bullies more and more. You see, Harry Styles had  _ gorgeous  _ brown curls; something he should have been proud of. But instead, he was bullied for having "girlish" hair; Chad's words, not his. This was when the bullies began the rumour that Harry wanted to become a girl. They called him Harriett; Girly Hairy… you name it, they called him it. 

Harry had cut his hair, but the nickname stuck. And he hated his hair short. So, he decided to simply never cut it again. By the time he was in his last year, his hair had grown extremely long. Long enough for it to be put in a manbun. Harry never  _ dared  _ doing so; knowing it would only make the bullies thrive even more. He just kept it down and tried to cover his face with his hair as often as possible. His hair had become his shield… until an Irish lad stepped in one day.

Niall Horan. The new kid when Harry was fourteen. He was the only Irish lad in the entire school, which meant he was  _ extremely  _ likeable. Everyone wanted to hang out with him; to be his friend. For the first week, Niall was sitting with the cool kids and a bunch of other cliques. He was starting to get a name for himself around the school. Niall Horan; the person everyone wanted to be best friends with. The next Monday, Niall sat down beside Harry at the cafeteria. Harry looked up slowly, shaking in fear. 

“Hi, I’m Niall,” the Irish lad smiled. “Who are you?”

Harry didn’t respond. No one ever asked him questions, unless it was: “When is the surgery, Harriett?” The teachers never called on him during class either. They knew about the situation and did absolutely fuck all. When Harry first came to them the year before, they had simply told him that he should ignore it and it would eventually stop. However, that was not the case. It never stopped… it only got worse and worse. 

“Are you deaf?” Niall frowned, seeming concerned. “I know some sign language.”

He did the symbol for ‘hello’ and Harry shook his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it once more. Niall decided to move in closer to hear the curly-haired boy better so he didn't have to speak as loudly. But before Harry could speak, Chad and his crew walked by. 

“Niall, don’t sit with this dyke. Come sit with us, Girly Hairy is just a waste of your time.”

“I’m actually okay,” Niall responded, studying Harry, who was visibly shaking. “Thanks though. Enjoy your lunch boys.”

Chad seemed taken aback. He cleared his throat and awkwardly walked away with his posse. Once he was gone, Niall said softly, “So your name is Harry?”

Harry nodded slowly. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried not to cry. He usually cried; but he couldn’t do it this time. Not in front of someone. Someone who was being  _ nice  _ to him. He hadn’t had that happen since he first began getting bullied. He was either tormented by his bullies, or ignored by the rest of the school. It was one or the other. Nothing else. 

“You can talk to me you know, I won’t bite,” Niall added. He looked over at Chad who was throwing his mustard-covered-baloney to the ceiling and laughing when it got stuck there. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the still slightly-shaken up boy. “Chad is a proper fuckface. I wish I had known that before I sat down with him last week. I hate people like that. And I hate labels. They’re stupid. I believe I can be friends with whoever I want and I’d like that to be you. If that’s something you want…?”

Harry slowly nodded. And that was how he got his only friend. No one bothered bullying Niall; he was ‘too cool’ for that. He was Irish and people enjoyed that. They cut him the slack and they would even stop bullying Harry if Niall was with him. That was why Niall had become Harry’s shield. He stopped the constant pain Harry felt. The curly-haired boy hated how he had to rely on Niall, but the Irish lad didn’t mind it at all. He felt like a superhero; he was able to stop the bullies. Not many people were able to do something like that. 

It took Harry two months, but he finally warmed up to Niall and began talking to him. He was still  _ nowhere near  _ being his old self, but it was something… and Niall appreciated it. They became good friends, even if Harry thought Niall was his friend out of pity. He never told that to Niall, but he always thought that deep down. He questioned why Niall hung out with him constantly. He was a nobody. Why was Niall wasting his time, as Chad said? Harry had no clue, but nonetheless he was grateful for the Irish lad. 

~

Niall had a co-op planned for the first semester of school. He was going to be studying cooking at a specialized school. Harry knew this since summer began last year. Niall had given him plenty of warning because he knew Harry was going to struggle with the first few months of school without him. And Niall was not mistaken.

The  _ moment  _ Harry walked into the school on the first day back, Chad had his eyes locked on him. He was leaning against his locker, chatting with some of his friends. Harry hadn’t noticed him yet, but Chad sure did. He looked for him constantly. He didn’t know why he bullied Harry, all he knew was that he enjoyed it and it made him feel powerful. And he liked that feeling, so he kept doing it. His friends were secretly scared of him, so they just followed along… too afraid to stand up to him. 

Harry always kept his head down. That was part of his technique to go through the school unnoticed. Sometimes it worked… but it was rare. It seemed that Harry had the worst of luck when it came to these things. All he wanted to do that morning was make it to his locker in peace… but he couldn’t even do that. He was a mere few steps away from reaching his safespace, when he noticed muddy black shoes standing in front of him. 

Harry’s eyes immediately widened and his heart rate sped up. The bell hadn’t even rang and already he was dealing with his first incident of the day… not even of the day, of the freaking  _ morning _ . He didn’t dare look up. Throughout the summer, he had trained himself with Niall not to look up when being called or when someone was near him. Niall thought it was a waste of time and wanted to play footie with him, but Harry said it had to be done. If he wasn’t going to have his shield with him; he had to gear up. He needed new tricks, and he needed them fast. 

So that summer instead of enjoying himself and having fun, he simply prepared for his final year of school. His soft, brown hair had grown even longer, which helped camouflage his face. He had  _ mastered  _ not looking up at anyone or even flinching. To be honest, a part of him became mechanic after that summer. He managed to keep his fear on the inside; rather than showcasing it to the world. 

So when he didn’t look up at Chad that morning, that only enraged the bully even more. He gripped Harry by his white t-shirt; his knuckles turning white from the strength behind his grip. Now Harry wasn’t skin and bone, but he was very close. He weighed practically nothing. So when Chad grabbed him by his shirt, he lifted him off the ground ever so slightly. This made Harry taller than Chad so when he looked down, he was actually looking straight into his bully’s face. He saw the disgusting, brownish-yellowish mop of hair that fell flat on his scalp; the look of utter disgust piercing through his black eyes. Chad had brown eyes, but whenever he was looking at Harry, they turned a shade darker for some strange reason. It freaked the fuck out of Harry every god damn time. It was as if he was demon-like sometimes. 

“Hello dyke,” Chad smirked. Even his  _ voice  _ sounded disgusting. Everything about this man was purely evil. How he had friends, Harry had no clue. “Did you miss me?”

The curly-haired boy didn’t answer. He never did. He had no voice. He lost it every time he saw Chad or his minions approaching. He was the world’s biggest scaredy cat and everyone knew it. It made it  _ that  _ much easier for them to bully him. Chad dropped his intense grip on Harry suddenly and Harry stumbled as his feet touched the ground. His chest was rising and falling and he suddenly felt dizzy. He looked around for his locker, but he was all shaken up. 

Chad noticed this and scoffed. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked as Harry began composing himself. Once he had finished, he quickly ran off to his locker down the hall. Chad leaned back against his locker and his friends started talking about what they were doing for lunch that day. However, Chad wasn’t listening in the slightest. He was peering down the hallway, watching the little blob slowly disappear from his eyesight. Once he was sure that he could no longer see him, Chad turned to his friends and smirked. 

“Boys, it’s going to be a great year. I can feel it.”

~

Harry didn’t focus that morning in class. He usually had a tough time focusing whenever he had any interaction with Chad or the boys. It shook him up straight to his core. He hated how scared he always felt; how he cowered whenever he thought he heard their voices down the hallway; how he would run away whenever he had the chance.

He tried never to run away, because that only made them chase him even more. Nothing Harry did ever worked. He was honestly exhausted at that point. That morning in Maths class, he counted down how many days until the new semester. 75 days, not including weekends. He still had 75 more fucking days before Niall came back. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to handle this all by himself. 

Sure, he could fake being sick every once in a while, but his parents would eventually get suspicious. He hadn’t told them anything. He couldn’t bare it. They loved him so much and were so vocal about how perfect he was; he hated to disappoint them. Wherever they went, they would brag about how he was a stellar kid. He never went out to parties; he always did his chores, he never gave any lip or sass to his parents, and he did what he was told. Niall had come over to his place a few times, so his parents knew he had friends. Well, that’s what they thought.

Harry lied to them. Constantly. He told them that he had many friends but they were never free to come over. Niall had a less busy schedule and that’s why Harry saw him more. Half the time when he would go to Niall’s, he said it was his other friends. He made names up for them. His four other friends were: Tim, Eric, Jason, and Paul. 

Tim was the glue of their friendship; the leader. He always kept them in check and told Jason when it was time to stop making jokes and be serious. They would always hang out every Friday right after school and go to the ice cream parlour. It was their ritual and Tim made sure it went smoothly every Friday. He was always checking his schedule and making sure everyone was ready and having a grand old time. He would order the chocolate chip cookie dough in a cup. 

Eric, was the quiet one. He loved reading and watching Marvel movies and was in general, a big dork. He always spoke about his love for that Star Trek dude Leonardo Nemo, or some crap like that. Harry never bothered paying attention. None of them did; but they loved Eric anyways. He brought the sensible side out of the group. He always got the mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone. 

Jason was the class clown. He was always getting detention for talking back to the professors when they were being utterly ridiculous. He never did his homework. He was always making funny remarks and jokes. He always talked about how he would become a comedian once he was done school. That was what he was born to do. He just knew it. He couldn’t wait to start his life and start his career. His ice cream order was bubblegum swirl; two scoops. 

That left Paul. Paul was so talented… he loved playing his guitar and singing at all times. Whenever they were at the ice cream parlour, he would sing along to the songs. That was another thing, he knew every damn song in the entire world. When they weren’t all hanging out, he would have his headphones on and just listen to the music; tuning out the rest of the world. Tim was  _ convinced  _ that Paul was going to become  _ huge  _ one day. The first day they met, he got Tim’s autograph and framed it. He planned on selling it on eBay when Tim got his big break. Paul was obsessed with everything maple. So every Friday, he got the maple butter pecan in a cup.

They were great friends; the six of them. They had so many adventures and great times. Nothing would ever come between them. They were destined to stay best friends for the rest of their lives. Their memories would last a lifetime, or so Harry’s parents thought… too bad they weren’t real. 

~

“Harry, what are you doing here?”

Ms. Wringley was shocked and confused to see Harry in the library during lunch. Everyone was always inside the cafeteria or outside in the gorgeous London weather. No one bothered to come to a  _ library  _ during their lunch. Well, apparently, no one but Harry Styles. 

“I’m going to have my lunch here,” Harry replied back slowly. 

That was another thing that Chad and his posse tormented him about. How slow he spoke. Ever since Harry began getting bullied, he spoke slower and slower. He always chose his words carefully, taking every single second to think of the correct response. Years of answering to bullies had trained him to talk like that. Unfortunately, that only made things worse for him. After they caught on to how slow Harry talked, they started calling him ‘stupid’, ‘retarded’, ‘slow’... all the insults in the book. 

“Harry, darling, I can get in trouble if you eat here,” Ms. Wringley responded softly. 

She patted the chair in front of her and Harry sat down, holding his brown paper lunch in his right hand. She then sat on the opposite side of him and placed her hands on the desk; intertwining her fingers. 

“If someone saw you… they’d be asking why they can’t come in here and then a bunch of people would begin eating here. That’s why we started this rule; the books were getting ruined from food, so we decided no one was allowed inside the library during lunch. You know the rules, love. I can’t give you special treatment.”

When Ms. Wringley said that last sentence, Harry broke down. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He simply let the tears fall; his shoulders shaking. Ms. Wringley sighed softly and looked down at her fingers. She knew what he was going through. All the teachers did; they spoke about him regularly. She wanted to help him as much as she could, but she was told by the principal himself to stay out of it or else she’d lose her job. This was Gretchen High School; the school that didn’t give a fuck about their students, and it showed. 

Harry let go of his lunch and used his shirt to wipe away the tears. Ms. Wringley quickly got up and ran to her desk. She came back with a green box of tissues and gently pushed it in front of him. Harry grabbed a few with his shaky hands and applied it directly to his face. He kept on crying. He didn’t want to go back outside the library walls. He wanted to stay there; where he knew he was safe. 

“Tell you what,” she whispered gently, “you can come here once a week. Never on the same day, so it doesn’t create any suspicion. You can hide in between the shelves so no one will spot you. If you’re going to eat, you can’t be reading a book. And if you get caught, our little deal ends immediately because my job is at risk. Does that sound okay, Harry?”

Harry nodded slowly. He wiped his eyes once more and forced out the tiniest smile. Even when doing so, it just felt wrong. He stopped smiling right away and went back to his usual emotionless facial expression. 

“Thank you Ms. Wringley,” Harry replied, hiccuping every few moments from his little breakdown. “I appreciate it.”

“I know,” she smiled gently, “I know high school can be tough, but you’re almost done. I promise.”

Harry didn’t believe her. It was only the first day and already it felt like the longest school year of his entire life. 

~

“How was your first day, Hazzy-cakes?” Anne asked once Harry stepped through the door. 

Harry grimaced; he absolutely hated that nickname, but he didn’t have the heart, nor the balls, to tell his mum. He never told anyone his honest opinion of anything. He couldn’t; he was too afraid of the potential backlash he would get. His bullies had so royally fucked him over and he didn’t even realize the half of it. 

“It was okay, felt weird without Niall there,” he mumbled back quietly.

“Did Jason do anything ridiculous on the first day?” Anne grinned.

She  _ loved  _ hearing about his friends. They sounded so fun and so good for Harry. She was  _ dying  _ to meet them. Robin kept telling her not to push him so hard; so she held back a lot. That year, she had a plan. For his sixteenth birthday, she was going to invite all of his friends over for a surprise birthday party. She couldn’t wait! 

“Yeah,” Harry murmured, “he put a whoopie cushion on the Maths teacher’s chair to make it sound like she had farted. Everyone was laughing and the teacher looked so embarrassed.”

Harry always made stuff up on the spot. He had to; or else his mum would get suspicious. Since it had been going on for so long, it was pretty much second nature at this point. He didn’t even so much as bat an eye when he lied about his made up friends. 

“And I assume he got detention?”

“Of course,” Harry nodded. “I’ll be in my room mum, let me know when supper is ready.”

He trudged up to his room and immediately shut the door behind him. He then walked up to his bed and fell face first down into the covers. He let out a small sob and began crying for the third time that day.


	3. can't ever get it right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's kind of boring right now. It'll get more interesting once Harry and Louis have their first interaction. It should be in Chapter 4.

**Chapter Two**

While Harry was having a terrible second day back… Louis Tomlinson was having his very  _ first  _ day at Gretchen High School. He and his family had recently moved from Doncaster to London for Mark’s new job and they had just arrived the night before. Louis was still in school because he didn’t want to start college yet and volunteering sounded like a lot of work. He was finally in his final year of high school and he couldn’t wait for it to be over. What a terrible way to start your last year… at a brand new school. 

The moment Louis walked into the school, all eyes were on him. He wasn’t wearing anything out of the ordinary or something like that. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a grey oversized tank top and a red beanie. He had absolutely no clue why everyone was staring.

What he hadn’t known, was that this was the first new kid since… well… since Niall. It was a pretty small school and they weren’t very well-funded, so not many new students came to the school. 

Louis walked into the registrar’s office and got his locker number and his schedule. As he was walking down the hallway, he heard everybody whispering stuff about him. He couldn’t hear much… only a few words such as: new kid, hot, and yum. He chuckled softly and headed to his locker. Right beside it, was an olive-skinned guy with jet black hair that was styled upwards in a nice little quiff. He was wearing a black skull t-shirt with some grey skinny jeans. Louis put in the combo for his locker and opened it. 

“You must be new,” the guy noted.

Louis huffed sassily and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I have a sign on my ass that says ‘new kid’ on it or something?”

He did a little twirl to try to check out his own ass. The guy beside him snorted and shook his head in amusement. “You’re funny, I like you. You should sit with me and my friend at lunch today.”

“Shouldn’t I know your name first?” Louis asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Come find me and lunch and you’ll find out.”

Then the man mysteriously walked away. Louis seemed very confused, but went on with his day. In his morning Maths class, he heard girls whispering about him and he smirked. He was clearly getting a reputation around the school and he sort of loved it. Back at his old school, he was the class clown. He always made the students laugh and made the teachers irritated. However, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go down that same path at this new school. It was his last year, so he had to make it count. 

Lunch rolled around faster than he thought and before he knew it, he found that guy sitting at a lunch table with someone else facing him. He shrugged and headed over that way. Once he got there, the guy with the black hair grinned and said, “I knew you’d join us.”

Louis sat down beside him and put his tray down. “Are you going to tell me your name now?”

“Did he make himself seem all mysterious this morning?” the brunet asked. 

Louis nodded and that same guy laughed. He clutched his stomach and the other one gave him the finger. The man who was laughing slowly stopped and explained. 

“I’m Liam, the one you met this morning was Zayn. And you are?”

“I’m Louis, I just moved here,” he replied. 

“We know,” Liam nodded. He eyed the new kid up and down. “You’re the talk of the school. Eleanor has apparently already claimed you for herself.”

“Who?”

“This random girl who thinks she’s top shit,” Zayn rolled his eyes. “She’s irrelevant. So, tell us about yourself Lou.”

And so Louis did. He told them how he was from Doncaster, and how he had four siblings; all sisters. He mentioned that he was in his last year of high school which made Liam and Zayn groan. They still had one year left to go. He told them what he was like at his last school and his plans for who he was going to be at this one. 

“Well stick with us kid,” Zayn grinned, “because I’ll have you know that we’re very popular.”

Liam smacked Zayn and they began bickering. Louis chuckled and watched in amusement. He had already clicked so well with them; he couldn’t imagine finding anyone else he’d rather hang out with. They were both so chill and funny and it just felt easy to be around them. Louis loved that feeling. He was so happy that his first day was going so well. 

~

All anyone could talk about was this supposed new kid. Harry had yet to meet him, but he had bigger fish to fry. He had to figure out what the hell he was going to do for lunch that day. He  _ could  _ go outside for lunch, but if he was found… concrete hurt much more than the floor. It was a gamble he wasn’t willing to take. He was running low on his foundation stash to cover up his bruises. He knew he had to go to the store at some point to buy some more. Until then, he was playing it safe and remaining inside the school. 

Surprisingly, Chad and his posse were distracted with the new kid, so Harry actually had a proper, uninterrupted lunch… but most of all, he had a  _ safe  _ lunch. Something he hadn’t expected to have this early on in the school year. Harry definitely thought Chad would be after him, considering he hadn’t seen him all summer and surely he wanted to get his dumb remarks in. But alas, the new kid had saved the day. Harry had absolutely no clue who he was, but he was already grateful for that person. Not only because he was saved for lunch, but because it gave him an idea. 

~

“Mum, can I switch schools?”

It took  _ everything  _ inside Harry to ask such a bold question like that once he got home from school that day. He was secretly sweating, but thankfully his mum didn’t notice. However, Anne seemed taken aback by his question.

“But what about all your friends?” she asked, confused.

“Niall’s doing a co-op for this semester and it’s not the same without him,” her son explained. 

“And the rest of the boys? What about them, huh?”

_ Oh, right.  _

Harry had forgotten about his made up friends for a small moment. He was too excited by the thought of a new school. He shut his eyes and just said the first thing he thought of. 

“They wouldn’t mind,” Harry shrugged, “they’d be fine. Can I? Please?”

“But I don’t understand why?” Anne frowned. “I thought you loved your school?”

Harry wanted to laugh, but decided against it. He sat down beside his mum and looked her deeply in the eyes. He was being as sincere and truthful as he possibly could. “I need a new change of scenery. Please mum.”

“Harry, you’re at that school because it’s the only one near where we live. Every other school is too far and wouldn’t provide transportation. Robin and I are too busy with work to be able to drop you off and pick you up every day love. I’m sorry.”

Harry nodded. “I understand.” He didn’t. He was heartbroken. He had finally thought of a way out of this hellhole, and was told that there was no escaping his inevitable doom. When he first asked his mum, he finally had hope for the first time in three years. He had allowed himself to be hopeful, and he shouldn’t have. Because hearing that ‘no’ hurt a million times more after thinking that he stood a chance at a different school. 

“We’re having pizza,” Robin grinned, walking out of the kitchen with a menu in hand. He was completely oblivious to what had just happened. “Harry, any special requests?”

“I’m going to go to sleep,” Harry mumbled, “I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll skip the pizza for tonight, thanks.”

“But… pizza.”

Harry was already up the stairs, heading into his room. The  _ moment  _ he shut the door, he allowed himself to finally breakdown. He had managed to hold it together in front of his parents, but once he was alone; he couldn’t hold off any longer. This was the second day in a row that he cried himself to sleep. He just wanted the pain to stop. He was tired of it all; it was too much. There was only so much torture one person could take… and Harry was getting close to the end of his tolerance. 

~

The next morning, Harry went to school. Because he had to. He knew it was too early in the school year to claim he was ‘sick’. When he woke up, his eyes were swollen and puffy from all the crying from the previous night. When he looked at himself in the mirror a few minutes later, he simply sighed and splashed some water onto his face. 

That was another thing, he  _ hated  _ looking at himself. He would look in a mirror and see nothing. A nobody. Just some depressed, unhappy person who didn’t love himself. It was Harry’s sad reality. He still remembered the first morning he looked into the mirror and felt absolutely nothing. It was a strange feeling back then, but he was used to it by this point. 

He was dreading the day and it hadn’t even started yet. By the time he got to school, he was practically shitting himself. Of course, Chad spotted him right away. But this time, he sent one of his minions to do the dirty work. That day, it was Trey. In some ways, Trey was even worse than Chad. He was bigger, which made him that much scarier. And he was also Chad’s number one henchman - as Niall called it - so he was extra hard on Harry. He never wanted to disappoint Chad, so he went all out each time. 

It was always something along the same lines. He was either cursed out and called names, was physically hurt, or had his lunch stolen. That day it was the lunch. Robin had packed him two slices of pepperoni pizza since he hadn’t had any the night before. When Trey looked inside the brown bag, he grinned. 

“Pizza, SCORE! Thanks Harriett, now run along girl.”

Harry had no choice but to continue on with his day. If he ever tried to grab his lunch back, he would get a black eye. It honestly was not worth the food. Sure, pizza was good… but not getting injured, was better. To be honest, he still hadn’t gained his appetite back, so the pizza wasn’t that big of a loss. 

Whenever Harry came home with bruises, he always said that the boys were just roughhousing or their football game got slightly too aggressive. And every time, his mum bought it. Harry was very thankful that they trusted him, or else it would have been harder to lie to them and get away with it. 

There must have been  _ someone  _ looking out for him, because Ms. Wringley was not at school that day. Since Harry didn’t have a lunch anymore, he thought it would be easy to sneak in and hide there for the duration of their lunch period. And that was exactly what he did. The library was left unlocked, so Harry simply sneaked in and hid between the bookshelves like she had told him. He decided to read a book while he was sitting there. It’s not like he had anything else to do. He couldn’t very well text Niall; he was told that there was a zero cell phone policy at the specialized school… and that was Harry’s only friend, so he was out of luck there. 

He also didn’t have any social media. When he began getting bullied, he deleted everything in fear that his bullies would find him. All he had was his cell phone, and that was it. 

He picked a random book. That book just so happened to be  _ Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda  _ by Becky Albertalli. By the time the bell rang, Harry was a good quarter-way through the book. He didn’t want to put the book down; it was so interesting and Harry wanted to know how it ended. He decided to take the book with him and return it the next day.  _ Finally _ , he had something to do at night. Something he was actually looking forward to for once. 

He walked out of the library and went by unnoticed. He sighed of relief and headed towards his locker. Unfortunately, Chad was waiting for him there. When he saw Harry approaching, he smirked. Harry was too busy looking at his book as he walked, meaning he hadn’t seen that Chad was waiting for him. Before he got to his locked, the book was taken out of his hands. 

“What do you have here, dyke?”

“Hey — ”

Chad immediately looked up and Harry squeaked. His cheeks turned pink and Chad gripped onto the book tightly. The curly-haired boy began walking backwards, but Chad kept walking forward, closing the space between them. 

“What were you saying?” he growled. 

Harry knew he shouldn’t have been looking directly at Chad. He had practiced for the whole summer with Niall, for fuck’s sake. But for some strange reason, he felt that he couldn’t look away. His heart was practically in his throat. Never had he been this terrified before. He  _ never  _ spoke back. Then again, he hadn’t seen it was Chad and he was genuinely excited for the book… and now that was taken away from him. 

“That’s what I fucking thought,” Chad’s voice rumbled. Harry started to feel lightheaded. He could no longer hear people chatting in the hallways. All he could hear was his own heartbeat. “You’re a fucking coward, Styles, and you always will be.”

He then threw the book across the hallway. Harry immediately ran after it; he had to. That book was the only joy he had felt in a long time. He couldn’t give it up just like that. But Chad knew exactly what he was doing. He saw someone standing down the hallway out of the corner of his eye, and that’s why he threw the book as hard as he could. And he had good aim; so he didn’t miss. 

Once Harry finally got close to the book, he noticed it was on someone’s shoes. He picked it up and looked up, only to see a very angry principal; whose face was flushed… as if a book had hit him. 

~

“SUSPENDED?!”

Harry winced. He had never heard his mother scream like that before. The school had called her and told her that she had to pick her son up immediately. Harry was waiting outside the school with his backpack in one hand. Once Anne appeared, he got inside the car and she asked him what happened. That was when he told her the news. 

“For how long?”

“I can go back on Monday,” Harry replied.

“TWO DAYS?!”

That was a lie. He was only suspended for one day, but he thought two days was believable. That way, he had two days free from Chad and his minions. It was going to be so peaceful; and Harry couldn’t wait. He planned on staying in his room the entire day and just sitting in the darkness, contemplating his life like he often did. 

“How did you get suspended?” Anne asked, still in shock. 

“I sort of stole a book from the library at lunch,” Harry mumbled. 

Anne slammed on the breaks. Thankfully no one was behind her. She immediately pulled over to the side and parked; putting on her hazards. She turned to Harry and she looked absolutely broken. Her eyes were teary and her face was getting red. It broke Harry to see her like that. He never wanted her to be in pain; he knew what it felt like and he didn’t wish it on anyone. Not even Chad or the boys. 

“Are you acting out? Is this because we won’t let you switch schools?”

Her voice cracked when she asked her son those questions. She was absolutely devastated. She felt like she had failed as a mother. Harry was  _ never  _ the type of kid to act out. What was going on? Was it something she did? Was there something she could have done to prevent this? She wanted answers. 

“No, not at all,” Harry replied quickly. “It was some dumb dare Jason suggested that I do and I did it. I’m sorry mum, honestly. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

Anne nodded for a solid minute. Although she felt relieved, the tears trickled down her cheeks nonetheless. Harry felt awful and thought this was entirely his fault. He unbuckled his seatbelt and hugged his mum tightly. She instantly hugged him back and gripped onto him tightly. This was a weird sensation for Harry. He hadn’t hugged his mum in months. He didn’t like to feel… because usually when he was feeling, it was physical pain. 

“I love you, Harry,” Anne blubbered, still crying. “You’re my everything and I just want to make sure you’re okay and you’re not going down a bad path. It’s my job to worry. I’m sorry love, I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.”

~

That night, he tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn’t sleep; he had too much on his mind. Ever since his mum mentioned that she loved him, Harry had felt sick to his stomach. He heard his mum say that she loved him all the time, but that time, it felt wrong. He didn’t feel like he deserved her love. He made her this upset, and she still loved him? Why? Because he was her son and because she had to? That must have been the only reason. He was so hard on himself… he didn’t even believe that his own mother loved him. How could anyone love him? After all… he was the four-nipple kid. 


	4. words will be just words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler chapter. The real stuff starts in the next one!

**Chapter Three**

Harry only fell asleep at four AM the next morning. And the only reason he fell asleep was because his body could physically no longer stay awake. He hadn’t slept well the previous nights. Well… ever since Sunday really, he hadn’t slept well. He was too anxious about going to school and that kept him up for hours at a time.

So that morning, when he fell asleep; he was  _ out _ . He only woke up at four PM that evening, when he heard his mum walk through the door. He looked at his clock in shock; had he really just slept for twelve hours?

A few moments later, his mum peeked her head through the side of the door. She noticed the lights were off; blinds closed, and that Harry was still in bed. “Have you been sleeping all day?”

“Sort of,” Harry mumbled. 

Anne sighed softly. “You can’t do this tomorrow Hazzy-cakes, I expect you to do something tomorrow at least. A suspension is not a vacation you know.”

“I will mum.”

Anne then left, silently shutting the door behind her. Harry grabbed his phone and noticed he had a bunch of texts. They were all from Niall. 

**I heard you got suspended. What happened??**

**Harry?**

**Hey, ass face. Text me back.**

**Apparently you threw a book at the principal and gave him the middle finger and then laughed maniacally. That’s what people have been saying. But that doesn’t sound like you at all.**

**What actually happened?**

Harry grabbed his phone and began texting Niall back. He sent one long paragraph of what happened and then put his phone away again. He yawned once more and went straight back to bed; not waking up until the next morning. 

Anne had no idea what to do. When she called him for dinner, he hadn’t answered. So, she begrudgingly went up the stairs to get him out of his room. But when she opened the door, that was when she noticed that he had fallen back asleep. She decided to cut him some slack; for that day only. He was usually such a perfect child; he was allowed to be ‘rebellious’ for one day. But if it were to continue, she would cancel her surprise birthday party for him. 

~

The next morning, Harry woke up at ten AM. He slowly sat up and his stomach began growling. He looked down at it with confusion. Since when was Harry  _ ever  _ hungry? He heard it growl once more and went down to the kitchen to make himself something. He looked in the fridge and noticed there was still two slices left of pizza. He grabbed them and ate them silently on the couch while he watched whatever was playing on the TV. 

Once he was done, he went back upstairs and got changed for the day. He decided it was time he got out of the house. Thankfully, there was a bookstore a couple blocks away. He walked over there slowly, admiring the fall nature found within the trees. When he got to the bookstore, he immediately went to the Teen Fiction category. 

Not even a few seconds later, he found the book he was reading the other day. He grabbed it carefully and walked over to the cash. It was a teenage girl, who looked around his age. When she saw him, she immediately blushed and took the book without saying a word. She thought he was so good looking; but Harry was completely oblivious. She decided to strike up a small conversation; taking her time to ring through the one book. 

“How are you today?” she smiled. 

“Today is just another day,” Harry mumbled flatly. He paid the total and she handed him the book.

“Well, I hope it’s a great one!”

Harry simply left the store, without saying goodbye. The girl frowned and wondered what she had done wrong. She thought about it for the rest of the day; while Harry didn’t give it any second thought. The only thing he thought was weird was that she decided to strike up a conversation with him. Other than Niall and his parents; no one bothered. 

When Harry got back home, he sat down on the couch and picked up right where he left off in the book. He sat there for the next three hours, reading the book from start to finish. By the end, he had tears rolling down his cheeks. Although the book was beautiful, it made Harry realize just how alone he really was. And he hated it. 

Once he finished the book, he put it down beside him and brought his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his knees and held onto himself tightly; shutting his eyes as the tears kept streaming down his face. In that moment, he made a silent prayer. He prayed that life would become better once he was done high school. He prayed for a miracle to happen. He prayed not to be sad anymore. 

Halfway through, he simply gave up. He knew no one up there was even listening. Why would they? They had better things to do with their time; Harry was sure of it. So he went about his day and didn’t have a second thought about it. What he didn’t know, was that someone was listening up there and had plans for Harry. Plans that would soon change his entire world… and it was going to happen  _ before  _ he was done high school. Harry just had to wait for it to play out. 


	5. so put your hands up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update this. I'm hoping to put out a few short chapters.

Harry spent that weekend with Niall. They decided to have a movie marathon weekend. Niall picked Harry Potter, and Harry picked Star Wars… so instead, they watched the Back to the Future trilogy. Niall stayed over that night, and thank God he did… because Harry couldn’t handle being alone. He needed company. Things were so different at school now that Niall was no longer there. He felt more alone than he had in years. 

Since Niall had come into his life; he got used to him after a little time. And now, he had to get used to not having him around anymore. At least for the next four months. It was going to be really rough. The more Harry thought about it, the sadder he got. So he decided not to think about it. Instead, he thought of all the weekends they could spend together. Thank God he had the weekends to look forward to. It somehow made the week not seem as shitty… because he had a little treat at the end of the week. Niall was the sprinkles on his ice cream… only… the ice cream was melted and tasted gross and had sand in it. But the sprinkles made everything else worth it. Harry knew that if Niall hadn’t walked into his life; he probably wouldn’t be alive. He would have ended it a long time ago. So he was very grateful for Niall. 

He suddenly felt bad for not picking Harry Potter. He should have… considering everything Niall had done for him. Harry was too shy and awkward to thank his best friend for everything he has done. He kept to himself mostly; it was just nice to have some company. The Irish lad tried to get Harry to open up… but he never would. Everything inside him was locked up and barricaded by the tallest walls. No one could get through. Absolutely no one.

“So you’re telling me, you lied to your mom to stay home an extra day?” Niall asked, halfway through the first movie. 

“I did,” Harry mumbled, nodding his head.

He started to feel guilty again. Somehow, every single action he did… he felt guilty. He hated it. But he knew that even if he had gone that day, he would feel guilty for not allowing himself to have a stress-free, bully-free day either. No matter what he did; he was doomed. He felt guilty even when he shouldn’t have. It was an awful thing that he did on the daily. 

“That’s genius,” Niall grinned. “Who knew I had such a deviant best friend?”

“I wouldn’t call myself ‘deviant’...”

“Okay fine,” Niall rolled his eyes playfully. “We’ll say you’re a mastermind instead.”

“Sure.”

They went back to watching their movie in silence. Harry enjoyed having the company; even if it was just in silence. Niall knew this, so he tended to keep quiet whenever he was with the curly lad. He had no idea  _ why  _ Harry was bullied. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him and he was the sweetest boy. He saw how much potential Harry had… had the bullies not ruined it for him. He always ranted to his parents about it. He hated how cruel life was to his best friend. Every night, he prayed that somehow, things would get better. He was starting to lose hope. It had been over a year and still nothing had changed. And now, he was at a freaking co-op for the entire first semester. He knew it would help him later on in life… but he hated how he had to leave Harry alone. Harry didn’t have anyone else; only Niall.

But that was at that very moment. The universe had something in store for Harry… or better yet…  _ someone.  _

~

The next Monday, Harry was at school. He was dreading it the entire Sunday evening, which meant, he got absolutely no sleep. He walked in the school with bags under his eyes and a hoodie over his head. He usually wore hoodies to try and camouflage himself. Always black. Never any bright colours; because that would have made him more visible. 

He somehow managed to sneak away that morning without being noticed. He thanked his lucky stars and carried on with his day. Whenever he wasn’t targeted in the morning, he focused better in class. He was a really smart kid. But his grades would always waver around. When he got bullied more often than usual; they would slip. When he was bullied less; he excelled in class. When Chad went on vacation for two weeks last year, Harry was passing with flying colours. His parents were so proud of him. But when Chad came back… that all disappeared. 

Of course, once lunch arrived, Harry was not so lucky. Chad found him and knocked into him on purpose. Harry was very frail so he ended up tripping and falling to the ground. Chad laughed and smirked at his victory. Harry scrambled to pick up his books and his pencil case, which had somehow burst open from the fall. Chad ran over to his friends and they all began teasing him. 

Louis noticed this and frowned. He excused himself from his friends and walked over. He then bent down and picked up a few pencils. He then looked up and handed them over to the man with the hoodie. 

“Here you go,” Louis smiled softly. 

Harry didn’t bother looking up. That’s what he trained himself to do. He quickly grabbed the pencils and muttered a small ‘thanks’, before scurrying off. Louis frowned and slowly stood back up again. He saw this guy laughing with his friends and staring at the man in the hoodie. That was strange… 

He walked back over to his friends and frowned. “Who was that?”

“His name is Harry,” Liam mumbled, “everyone makes fun of him. Well, no, mainly Chad and his friends. But everyone else just lets it happen.”

“Why?” Louis questioned. 

“Because everyone’s too chicken shit to stand up to him,” Zayn explained. 

“Well I’m not.”


	6. from the moment i met you

The following day, Chad wasn’t in school. Harry was ecstatic. He actually smiled for the first time in weeks. He managed to eat his lunch in peace. It wasn’t that often that he got to do that. Hell, it wasn’t even that often that he got to  _ keep  _ his lunch. That day, he had a mustard and ham sandwich on white bread. His mum had made it for him. He ate it quietly and just watched everyone in the cafeteria interacting with their friends.

His heart ached slightly. He really missed Niall. He missed hearing his best friend’s laugh and he missed having a presence beside him. He still had 68 days before the winter break commenced. He was counting them down every morning, crossing an X off that day on his calendar. This was only the second week of school and already, Harry found it harder and harder to come in to school each day. But when Chad wasn’t there; things were a little easier. 

If the alpha wasn’t there, the friends would leave him alone. It was as if they were lost without his guidance… as if they didn’t know how to be pieces of shit if there wasn’t someone telling them what to do. Harry knew he was a coward; but Chad’s friends were even bigger ones than him. Sometimes, he actually felt bad for them. But then he just laughed, because why should he? They were the mean ones; not the other way around. 

~

On Wednesday, Chad was back. Harry decided to eat his lunch in the library as he hadn’t done it that week. So once again, he had another peaceful - if not, lonely - lunch. He wasn’t used to eating lunch two days in a row, so later on in Math class, he had to excuse himself. He ran to the bathroom and ended up puking his meatball sub his mum had packed him. After flushing, he ended up sitting on the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest. Tears filled his eyes and he began to softly cry to himself. 

He hated himself. He really did. He couldn’t even properly enjoy a meal without somehow messing it up. Of course, his body was no help either. His stomach growled… craving more nutrients. But Harry knew he’d just end up puking it up later. He groaned softly to himself and sniffled. 

“Hello?” a voice called out.

Harry took in a deep breath and gasped. He quickly wiped his eyes and sat there; shaking. He tried to breathe as quietly as he could. He had no clue what it was. It didn’t  _ sound  _ like Chad, but for all he knew it could have been one of his minions. 

“Are you okay in there?” the voice asked. 

Harry stayed quiet again. He didn’t want to speak. He couldn’t. His mouth felt dry and he was feeling dizzy. He just wanted whoever that person was to go away. He wanted to be alone. He knew that he shouldn’t have been crying in the public bathroom; but sometimes, he just couldn’t stop himself. He had to remind himself to be stronger next time. He couldn’t allow himself to break down at school. 

“Just… cough if you’re okay. Please?”

Harry let out a small cough. He had no idea why he did. Maybe because he felt bad that some stranger was actually caring for him. And why? That person didn’t know Harry. He didn’t know that Harry was hated and the biggest joke of the school. Maybe it was because he thought it was someone else, and that’s why he was caring. Or maybe he was pretending to care. Either way, Harry just wanted the person to leave.

“Alright,” the man said, “well, it’s good you’re okay, I guess. I’ll leave you alone. I hope whatever it is or ugh, I don’t know. I just hope you feel better soon. Okay, I’m leaving now.”

Harry heard the door open and close. He took a deep breath and slowly got up. He walked out and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. His hair was a mess and he had tears on his face; his eyes still watery. He quickly wiped down his eyes and washed his hands, looking at himself in the mirror and shaking his head. He hated himself. He truly did. 

~

“I just had the weirdest interaction in the bathroom,” Louis mumbled to his friend Zayn. 

They were currently in class. Thankfully, his teacher had placed them beside each other so he had a friend to chat with when the lecture was boring. 

“What happened?” Zayn whispered.

“Someone was crying and I tried to talk to them, but they just shut up.”

“Huh, weird.”

~

Thursday rolled around and Harry had a bad feeling. There was something in his gut that told him today was going to be a bad day. And he was right. When the bell rang, Harry walked over to his locker. It was finally lunch time. He was so hunched up in his locker, that he didn’t notice Chad was making his way over. 

He quickly slammed the locker door hard into Harry; causing the curly lad to yelp in pain. Chad smirked and leaned in before saying, “ _ That’s  _ for slipping away from me the last few days, freak. Don’t try to be so sneaky next time.”

~

That night, Harry went home with a bruised back. He quickly scurried up to his room and went through his underwear drawer. He grabbed the empty bottle of foundation and groaned. He took a few deep breaths before going back downstairs. 

“M’ gonna quickly run to the store, mum,” Harry called out. “I’ll be back.”

“Be safe, darling,” Anne responded, “I love you.”

Harry walked out the door and headed to the store. Luckily, it was only a five minute walk. When he got there, he quickly went to the makeup aisle. He was looking at different brands of foundation when a little girl ran past him. She quickly turned around and walked back over; poking his arm. 

“Why are you looking at makeup?” she asked. 

“It’s uh, for my friend,” Harry lied sheepishly. “Why are you alone?”

“I ran away from my brother,” the girl shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “He’s around somewhere. We’re playing hide and seek, he just doesn’t know it.”

“Well, uh, you might want to find a better hiding spot,” Harry found himself responding. 

Usually, he ignored people and wouldn’t talk to anyone… but he couldn’t ignore a little girl. She looked like she was no older than five. He had a soft spot for kids; and he hated that. He hated feeling vulnerable and weak. 

“Nah,” she shook her head. “I want to help you pick out makeup. Can I?”

“Sure,” Harry smiled. “Which one do you like?”

“Hmmmm….. THIS ONE!”

She grabbed a random bottle, but the colour was  _ way  _ too dark for Harry. He chuckled and shook his head. “I need one that matches my skin tone. I mean, my friend has the same skin tone.”

“Oh,” was all the little girl said. “Okay, how about-”

“DAISY!”

The little girl gasped and quickly hid behind Harry. The curly lad looked up and saw a boy approaching him. He looked around Harry’s age. The boy stood a few inches away and crossed his arms. 

“What did I say about running off?” he scolded. 

“I was helping this man pick out makeup,” the little girl pouted. 

“I’m just an innocent bystander. I swear,” Harry said and put his hands up. 

He mentally slapped himself. Why did he say that? When he got home, he was going to think that sentence over and over again in his head until he hated himself even more. The man, on the other hand, just chuckled. 

“That was funny. I’m sorry she bugged you… um-”

Harry stared at the man blankly while he kept fumbling for words. He sighed and added, “This is the part where you tell me your name.”

“Oh, um, Harry.”

“I’m Louis,” the man smiled, “and this is my little sister, Daisy.”

Daisy giggled and began tugging on Louis’s shirt. “Louuuuu let’s go! I wanna get chocolate.”

Louis was starting to walk away when he realized something. “Wait, aren’t you the one who’s pencil case spilled the other day?”

“What?”

“Yeah, I helped you with your pencils, right? I think we go to the same school.”

Harry’s face paled. This was someone from school. He was interacting. With someone. From school. He quickly put the foundation back and ran out of the store. He ran all the way home and ran up to his room and slammed the door shut.

And then he had an anxiety attack.


End file.
